Rough Draft – Personal/College Essay Name___________________
Revise and Edit
Do the following on your rough
draft. I need to see evidence of
revision (highlight, mark up, change, etc.) and that you have worked hard to
make your final paper your best possible work.
Overall
q Read for a strong exploration of an idea or experience that
led you to a new insight or discovery.
q Read for how a
confession of personal experience creates something that resonates beyond
itself (Leslie Jamison).
q Mark where you stray from the topic.
Introduction
q Highlight the thesis statement. Is it specific enough and well worded?
q
What kind of introductory lead did
you create?
Body
q Check for your characters “voice prints” with your dialogue
and character description.
q Check for blocking and details about setting
q Highlight any place where you don’t present your narrative
in chronological order. If out of order, draw an arrow indicating where the
discussion should be moved or indicate that that particular section is a
flashback.
q Mark any place where details or transition statements need
to be added for clarity.
Conclusion
q Highlight the phrases in
conclusion, to summarize, and finally.
Take these out.
q Check to see if your conclusion emphasizes the point of your
essay, provides a climax, helps readers remember your piece, looks to the
future, summarizes, and/or finishes with a quote. Add more detail if your essay doesn’t do
this.
Important
Detail
q Look for any place you can combine sentences and cut the fat.
q Check for proper punctuation of dialogue.
q Highlight where you included a list.
Style
q Check for stylistic maturity using a variety of sentence
structures. Highlight your short
sentence.
q Appropriate paragraph breaks
q Count how many commas you have in one of your average-length
paragraphs. Do you have too many commas,
not enough?
q Highlight where you used a dash, parentheses, or a
semi-colon. Check usage.
q Check for remaining in first person (I) instead of second
(you). One first-person exception: cut
out the following phrase “I think that”.
Final
Detail
q Read out loud to yourself.
q Spelling, grammar, punctuation.
q MLA format.
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